selfish..

All these years i was taught, i perceived, i believed that being selfish is a sin!!
And i lived for others.. i'm not trying to look like Mother Teresa.. by telling i lived for others i meant... Adjusting with the wide attitude difference between me and my fellow mates... being there for my friends whenever they need me even if i'm busy .. acting as though i'm deaf when rude comments were ( which according to my friends is to make me a better person) spit on my face.. Remaining quiet when others invaded my space..
Today.. i screamed.. STTTOP.. STOP.. What the hell are you trying to do with me?? taking me for granted every moment.. because you know i'll be there for you always!! No! No!.. i won't let all this happen again.. what did i gain??
"if you are selfish.. then why can't i be??".. when this idea crossed i felt light at heart.. look at that.. a formula to reduce my pain. From now certain things are defenitely not going to be the way they were..
There is no more adjusting when an argument is firing up... i will not be the same deaf person when you insult me again. . . and excuse me first lemmme complete my work then i'll poke into yours (why don't you try it yourself.. buddy.. self help is the best help.. :P)
and a strong fence circling my space...
Yes i've set my mind to be selfish.. let me sin.. hey how is that a sin.. i'm living for myself... to make me happy.. to make myself comfortable... i was a sinner when i was on the other side.. now i'm an angel.. wanna disagree??? well you've all the rights to!!!!!

An sms reply

This was my reply to a freind who enlightened me that the cause of old age and death is oxygen.....
" you know people might go to any extend to remain young and now it'll be stop
breathing at regular intervals.. look at that... i wanna vomit on those ads which
promotes all lies.
Now think at the brighter side.. how will you promote a product which will help
you remain young by breathing less... oh god the 11th sin........."

Am i all excited that i'm in love (again)???

A new relation before the wounds caused by the one before not healed!!!! should i be excited....that i'm in love... again???

What happened with the previous relation is one that happens with every teenage love story.. no not doubt.. not misunderstanding.. too much love.. that makes one too possesive.
I knew him since i was 14years.. was friends then, used to talk, laugh .. too naughty when we were together.

Fell in love after 2years.. i proposed to him.. we had all the freedom in the world and we enjoyed being together for the next 3 years...

Then slowly.. slowly.. it started sinking in me.. the truth that i've no other world but him.. i've drifted away from my parents, my friends and to my horror MYSELF...

I looked at myself... i dress the way he want me to.. i talk the way he want me to.. my brain has stopped working???? No!!!!!!!

I'm stuck to the borders kept by him.. i'm tightly bound by the golden shackles of love.. i've to break it... spoke to him.. he said i'm changing and that i don't love him anymore...

I knew.. if i go ahead with the relationship then i'll lose myself my ambitions, my future... it was time for me to act... i broke up!!

Few months later.. i found a guy.. who i've no words to describe.. a god send to take me away from this plight.. i felt.. an answer to my prayers..

I knew he was the one.. after a long talk... not very long.. but long enough to fill my heart with love..

I didnt wait to get a positive glance from him.. i didnt stop when i heard he liked another girl..

if something goes wrong this time too.. i know that the trust i have on the relationship called love is gonna vanish...